So I had a couple of dreams last night.. I probably remembered them more clearly because I'm sick and had to get up every now and then for water or tissues.
In the first, I was driving in Texas, or somewhere downsouth/outwest.
I was driving this boat of a car, some kind of Cadillac or Crown
Victoria. I was being chased/harrassed by some redneck dude in a
reddish-orange pickup truck. I don't know if he was after me just
because I'm a yankee or because I wasn't macho enough for his
standards. (As an aside, in the dream I was a barrel-shaped
middle-aged man with thinning blondish-brown hair and a pathetic
excuse for a mustache.)
So anyway, the guy in the truck passes me, and starts shooting at me.
I put my feet up on the dashboard so that my steel-toed workboots are
between his gun and my head.. Better a bullet in the toe than one in
the face, I was figuring. Unfortunately this made it hard to drive.
I had to put one of my feet back down so I could step on the
accelerator. Eventually I did pass him again, but then he blew by me
on a downhill grade. He went by so fast, in fact, that I was able to
cut the wheel, slam on the brakes, and do a one-eighty. I escaped
down a side road, losing my pursuer.
Then I was in a residential area, in the Texas(?) city that had been
my destination. I somehow had the idea that nobody would give me a
hard time if only I could find a suitable cowboy hat. I asked a lady
who was hanging out her laundry where I could find a Wal*Mart or
something (I wasn't sure if they had Target in this part of Texas).
She said the gas-station down at the end of the road should have
everything I could possibly need.
So, I moseyed on down to the end of the road, and into the store part
of the gas-station. There was barely room to move.. the clerk was
hemmed in by a massive counter, and there was about 2 feet of space
for customers. It looked like all they sold there was cigarettes and
lotto tickets. Disappointed, I left the station.
While I was in there, though, apparently the very self-same street I
had been walking on had turned into an open-air market. There were
dozens of hats for sale. Unfortunately, each one I tried on was
either way too big (unusual, since I have such a big head), or too
small, or not "cowboy" enough. Eventually, I think I just wandered
Still in the same setting, but a different scene, I was talking with
an older woman in my kitchen. Apparently I had rented a crummy little
apartment in this city in Texas or wherever. I was wearing a dark
bathrobe, and she had on some sort of evening gown that would have
looked amazing on a somewhat less plump lady. I can't remember
exactly what I was explaining to her, or what she was explaining to
me. At some point it came time to feed the dogs. One was my dog
Samuel, and the other was a younger dog of the same size and
temperament. I gave them their kibble, and then proceeded to ask them
whether they wanted milk on it. I was trying to get them to bark in
ways that sounded like "Milk" or "None".
At this point, I drifted out of that dream, but held on to the carton
of soy/rice milk blend. It was funny; I was reading the nutrition
info on the side of the carton. Down below the vitamins and stuff, it
had a section with three or four lines. The second line was "Buttsex
(more than 800 times a month): no appreciable effect".. contrast this
with the third line: "Buttsex (once a week): no effect". I can't remember
what the first line was, or whether there were more than 3.